No matter how long you’ve been in therapy, how many professionals you’ve worked with, or how long you feel like you’ve been on the ~healing journey~, sometimes you need to go back to square one for your mental health. 

Hi — I’m Becca. I’m a licensed therapist and Master Social Worker. I own Forward Healing, a private therapy practice, and I manage a team of therapists. 

Two years ago, I became a mom. This has been the biggest life shift I’ve ever experienced, and it’s required me to show up very, very differently than I did before. 

I’ve been in and out of therapy for almost 25 years. I’ve worked with multiple coaches. My husband and I have seen a couples therapist. I spent 15 months in a treatment center. 

None of these things prepared me for motherhood and how it would wreck me and repair me. 

Again, sometimes you just have to go back to the basic mental health reminders…even your therapist does too. 

Here are my 24 biggest healing lessons. Some may seem small, but they have all been life-changing for me throughout the past 2 years. 

I hope that some of them speak to you whether you have kids, don’t have kids, or lost kids. I see you and honestly again, most of these lessons are for me. 

1. There is no right way to eat.
2. It’s okay to choose convenience. 
3. Shopping at 2 am when you’re lonely won’t fill the void. 
4. Ask for help.
5. Accept the help.
6. It’s okay that some people won’t meet your kid.
7. It’s okay that some people won’t be able to meet the new you.
8. Breathe deep and full. When in doubt, lay on the floor.
9. No is truly a full sentence.
10. Boundaries will change over time. This is normal.
11. Triggers will still be triggers, but there is a softening to them.
12. You can learn to hug, snuggle, and say I love you even if you didn’t have that growing up.
13. Couple therapy doesn’t mean your marriage is broken. It means you know there’s edges to work through. 
14. Coloring, creating, and playing do make you more present.
15. Social media is a snapshot. When compassion steps in, delete the apps. 
16. Finding ways to avoid yourself is a game that only ends in pain.
17. Laughing really does make you feel complete.
18. You won’t really ever be like your family, because well… you’re here. 
19.  Mindlessness is okay when you know why you are doing it. 
20.  Grief is heavy, hard and truly in everything – when you allow that to be true you find more ways to heal.
21.  Healing really truly isn’t linear and there is no right way. 
22. Exercise in your pj’s if the barrier is finding time or the right outfit. I promise it works. 
23. Sit down, check in, and notice how you feel.
24.  You can’t and won’t make everyone happy – learn to tolerate their discomfort. It will create more ease for you. 

I hope this list gives you hope and reminds you that you too can heal forward.

— Becca

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