13 Things Your Therapist Wants You To Know

When you’re considering therapy as the first or next step in your mental health journey, you might feel nervous, uncomfortable, or scared. 

It can feel daunting or overwhelming to seek out a therapist…or change therapists if you’re unhappy with your current provider. 

My team and I are therapists who also go to therapy, so we’re familiar with both experiences.

Maybe you’ve never been to therapy and are wondering what it will be like. 

Maybe you’re currently in therapy but still get nervous or anxious at the thought of going to your next appointment. 

You’re not the only one, so I asked my team for their opinion: what are some things your therapist wants you to know? 

Here’s what they said: 

1. Change takes time, it won’t happen all at once. If anything, you will notice the effects much later than when you actually make the changes happen
2. A relationship with your therapist will take time to build…and if you’re not feeling it by the fifth session, it won’t be the right fit with that provider
3. Your therapist is a human. You don’t need to know all about what’s going on in their life, but sometimes they will be off their game. 
4. There will be days when you feel stuck. It’s okay to add on different variations of support in addition to therapy (like workshops, group support, or mental health coaching which is different than therapy) 
5. Starting with a new therapist sucks. Yet,  it’s a chance for you to show up as you are now, without having someone remember what brought you in before. 
6. Time does not in fact heal all wounds.
7. Trauma is specific to you and only you. If you compare it to someone else’s journey,  you will only continue to minimize the impact you experienced. 
8. Any relapse in coping patterns is normal. Stop telling yourself you are only fixed when those stop. It took you years to build them. It will take you years to change them. 
9. Treating yourself like you would a friend shifts your perspective. Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to you? 
10. Your therapist wants you to ask them if they are in therapy too. It’s important to know they are doing their own work since they can only take you as far as they am willing to go. 
11. Therapists think about their clients long after they stop seeing them and it’s because they care. 
12. Your therapist might take it personally when you no longer want to work with them…and it is not your job to continue working with them to placate their feelings. They should be proud that you are ending the relationship since you did the work. 
13. Your therapist will not have the answers, most of the time. Instead, they will help you find yours. 

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